When we’re faced with a difficult situation it’s easy to get stuck by focusing on the problem and spending precious resources on the things that we can’t change.

The CAN technique is a mental agility tool that helps us focus on what we can control, and let go of the things we can’t, so we can direct all of our resources towards what matters and where we can make a difference.

Accepting what we can’t change isn’t about giving up – we’re just putting our energy and resources into what we can change or influence, which is far more productive.

Download the worksheet here

Here’s an example:

Blake works in a small strategy team in a medium-sized company. He applied for a promotion to head the team, but got passed over for a promotion and was gutted. Rather than stewing about the disappointment for too long, he filled out the CAN worksheet with these responses:

Things I can control:

• My mood
• My attitude – I can look at this as an opportunity to learn what I need to do to get a promotion rather than getting bitter, angry or miserable (to ask questions)
• My understanding of why I didn’t get it
• How I present myself to my manager and the heads of the other teams – I can show that I’m keen to learn and improve to get more opportunities
• Where I work – I can ask if there are other options outside of this team for promotion, or even look elsewere for another job
• My skills – I can find out where my boss thinks I can improve, what else I need to be able to do
• My awareness of my strengths – I can remind myself of what I am good at, where I have succeeded in the past and what’s kept me motivated

Things I need to accept:

• The team is small – there are limited opportunities for promotion
• The person who did get the job was better qualified than me

My action plan:

• Talk to my friends at work who are really supportive, and my partner who can help cheer me up
• Ask for feedback from my manager about what skills I need to demonstrate to get the promotion
• Ask her for opportunities to improve and learn, any development or training courses
• I can go on, or projects I can work on
• Talk to HR about whether there are any opportunities coming up in other teams that could use my strategy skills – maybe a bigger team where there are more senior roles I could work towards getting
• If it doesn’t look promising, I’ll get in touch with some recruiters and see what the market is like

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